Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

I loved it! And I fucking hated it!

Let me tell you why I hated it first. My biggest beef with the movie is the cheesy dialogue. No, it's the bad acting. No, it's the inconsistencies. Well, there's a lot. Did anyone ever stop to tell George Lucas that the writing's bad? Or are they all in too much awe of the man to contradict him? The love scenes were laughable, Christian Haydensen too. They failed to make me feel for Anakin and Padme's dilemma of being in-love and deciding on what's right for the Republic.

And speaking of Padme, what happened to her? In the beginning she's a powerful Queen, waging battles against droids to save her planet then she becomes a weeping, confused and pregnant wuss. "She just lost the will to live." WTF?? I was so pissed off about that.

And how in the world did they not know she had twins?? Sure, she didn't reveal that fact to the other Jedis, but why would she keep it from Anakin himself? I refuse to believe Padme didn't know she was carrying twins, I mean, c'mon, how stupid do I look? Shut up, don't answer that.

Along with other inconsistencies in the movie was the timing and pacing of the movie. Just follow this: Anakin realizes Chancellor Palpatine was the Sith lord they've been looking for so he goes to Mace Windu to tell on him. Mace Windu goes to the Chancellor to arrest him, they fight (which, btw, was one of the worst scenes in the movie). Anakin arrives and he is torn between believing the Jedis and defending the only person who can help him save Padme, but in the end he cuts off Mace Windu's hand which allowed the Sith lord to kill off Mace Windu. Anakin cries out, "What have I done?!?" and within seconds of that, the Sith lord pats him on the head, and all of a sudden Anakin pledges allegiance to the Sith lord?!? Oh yeah, he sure was really conflicted about that alright.

So the Sith lord then says, "You have done well...." I feel like he should've added, "now bend over, you're my bitch now!"

Then there's the special effects overkill. Sure the movie's beautiful to look at, and I really don't have too much to complain about it. Except for one thing. The lightsaber fights. The thrill's gone. It's just dead, all they have left are flashing lights that only made me feel dizzy. There was one moment when Anakin and Obi Wan were fighting where they were just twirling around their lightsabers and not even hitting each other! I was like, oooohhhh...purty! Oh wait, they're fighting. Yawn!

I felt that the best performances were done by Chewie and Yoda - that should say a lot. While Ewan McGregor did a decent job of trying to live up to Alec Guinness' performance, it still fell short.

And I miss the old Yoda, the actual puppet, the one I grew up to love so well. I'm sure I'm not the only one. This CGI-created Yoda reminds me of a ball that is bouncing out of control in an enclosed room, he looked ridiculous.

BUT!! And this is a pretty big but - there was more to love about the movie. I loved how dark the movie was. One of the most compelling scenes in the movie was when Order 66 was being executed and they showed you how all the Jedis were being killed. When the Youngling came out of hiding and asked Master Anakin what they should do, I damn near yelled out, "Noooooo! Not the little ones!!" Like I didn't see it coming!

And of course, the darkest moment of all was when Anakin slowly perished, engulfed in flames, and screaming his hatred towards his mentor, Obi Wan. I can't even begin to imagine how horrifying it all must've been to survive through so much pain and suffering. I would've begged Obi Wan to put me out of my misery.

I loved the parallels of life and death in that scene when both Padme and Anakin were rescued: Padme bringing forth new life while letting go of her own, and of Anakin, the good person dying but giving birth to the Sith, Lord Vader. Then there was the moment when they were lowering the mask on Anakin – my gosh, very well done. Imagine that being the very last thing your human eyes saw! And when the transformation was complete, the musical score gave me goosebumps, it was very operatic.

But what I love most about the movie, and this is the movie's saving grace, is how it all ties in to Episode IV - the movie that started it all. From Senator Organa's ship, to the construction of the Death Star, to Chewie, and even Padme's hair style (the big cinnabon buns on the side of her face that we've all grown to associate with Princess Leia) - those small details that link us to what we've all seen before and felt so attached to, thus creating an attachment to this movie as well.

Like most Star Wars fans, I'm a little sad it's all over, even though I had been looking forward to it ever since they started talking about making the prequels. But I'm glad the saga's complete. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to watch Episodes IV to VI, cause I've only seen it once this week.

marvin