Wedding Crashers

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!

Let me just say, I haven't laughed out loud and been so shocked at some of the things that were said and done in the movie since "Team America." And that's saying a lot. Fuck yeah! ;)

Anyway, I hated the previews for it, I knew it was one of those movies you couldn't drag me to see even if someone just slipped me a Margaroofie. But after so many people have gone out to see it AND enjoyed it, I eventually buckled.

Fucking hilarious! True, there were plot holes and huge distractions like Owen Wilson's nose, gratuitous boobies (any wonder why it's such a big hit?!?), there was an appalling misuse of Christopher Walken, and was Vince Vaughn always that tall?! But it did have lots of pluses.

Watching Jayne Seymour get felt up and demanding to be called Kitty Cat, was, and I totally mean it in a purely lesbian way, pretty damn hot.

Then, there's my favorite girl, Gloria, psycho-sex-maniac, who did a good job of displaying her dinner table manners. Such an adorable little girl trapped in a woman's red-hot body, she's just the type of girl you want to hold onto and never let go of....cause she'll find you!

But the best part of the movie, hands down, was Vince Vaughn. Awesome rant at the beginning of the movie, by far the closest thing to describing my dating anxieties.

Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

Sigh. Good times. Goood times.